I want to run. I want to swim. I want to just leave this place and be somewhere else... somewhere I know I am out of the city. Somewhere I can think, can write, can paint, can listen to the music and be with myself.
I want to sing with someone. And it hurts me right now that I still hadn't found that one. There are so many rules. There are so many things to consider in choosing someone to be with you. There are spiritual aspects - the main reason I am hindered to just be with someone. I do not think of just here now - but since that's what I am, I couldn't just risk "it".
I am gaining weight again - that just means I am in depressive state. I know when I am feeling wasted - I start gaining weight. I start becoming slothful and sluggard. I start losing the interest in doing things. All these will truly impact my life - my work and my ministries. I won't be able to feed myself if I do not work. Sometimes, it made me think of going back to my parents' house because life there, may not be as good as it gets, but it's easier - easier for someone who is lazy and too lax to even get on his own feet. That's the price of independence - responsibilities.
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