All in His Perfect Time

All Things Work for the Glory of God - all in His perfect time.

More often than not, we run the race of patience. And sometimes, it gets ahead of us and we get a little frustrated especially when timing and things don't happen our way. But God has His way.. and His wisdom is way higher than ours. He sees with a 360 degree view; we only see what's in front of us - the here and now. The next few seconds is something we can never tell but something we can trust God with.

To be continued...

Going through the storms

It's the season of storms, they say.

And so I agree.

I have started going through the storms as soon as the rainy season jumps in. The weather seems to embrace me wholly it penetrates the soul (metaphorically). I keep on making mistakes and I am hating myself for continually doing so. 

And continually... I asked Thee, Father... to search me... and know my ways... may my life appear to You as a sacrifice of praise. You know the thoughts of my heart, the secrets in my mind. You know the ways of my life and the things I try to hide. And so I come and bare myself at Your feet. I give myself as an offering. Lord I come and bend my knees toward You begging you please for more of Your grace.

Why do we sin and keep on sinning?

I was checking my facebook account and keeping myself updated with my friends' posts. I usually do this to see who might have posted an interesting message or a moving one, catching my thoughts and stirring my emotions. It keeps me in the loop - short and simple messages may mean something deep, as there are people who post quotes of short striking words to relay a deep message, which could mean, "help me, I am in a pit of trouble". Or, sometimes, a wall post that had inspired them and would love to share the message so their friends would be inspired just the same.

Going through the numerous feed at my homepage, I chanced upon a wall post of one of our missionary pastors in Middle East. A wall post that speaks of angels and a verse from the bible. Then below it is a comment from someone I do not know. After that is a reply coming from the author of the wall post, which I will directly quote here:

Kung sinasabi natin na nakabantay sa atin ang God bakit di tayo takot gumawa ng kasalanan? Bakit tayo pa mismo ang humahabol sa kasalanan? At bakit di tigilan o iwan ang kasalanan?

That made me stop and comment to the thread. As directly quoted below, 

we, by nature, are sinful; but by the grace of God thru faith we are saved, however, we still sin and we sin for may reasons. Yet, we couldn't rationalize our sinful nature in doing so. We sin because we have been defeated by the enemy, allowing it to lure us into temptations, why so? Because we did not use the gears God had given us, thus, as a soldier of Christ, we lose in the battle. We failed to utilize our shield of faith, we had not put on our armor and we chose not to wear the breastplate of righteousness thereby allowing our hearts wander unprotected. Above all else, we sin because we deliberately do so, in a mere disobedience to Thy Word - creating our self-made turmoil. :( 

I know for sure that what I have responded above is true, for I, myself, had experienced it. I have been defeated far too many times by the enemy because of my deliberate will to sin in an act of mere disobedience to the directions of our God. Undeniably, such situations and wrong decisions that I have done in the past brought a traumatic turmoil, all self-made. And, I have no reason, in whatever way, to question the Lord about my sufferings. I had created my own war. 

I also know, as a child of God, that nothing will restore my fellowship with our Father without repentance. I deemed it necessary to let go of my pride and to never harden my heart; to release my grip to the sin that shackles me from growing and a wall that bars me from enjoying the sweet fellowship with my Father.

In this life, nothing will make us happy if we do not truly trust and obey our dear Lord. This is a testimony, that I am not ashamed to admit: when I was much younger than today, I have long wondered where on earth will I find my happiness. How on earth will I be happy? What will make me happy? Who will make me happy?

The questions keep on taunting me as I grow and walk in faith. Am I really walking in faith? I falter numbers of times, maybe much more than you could imagine. I see myself as a stubborn, hard-headed child, insisting to do things her way. And when I fail, I keep running back to my Father's feet, weeping and sobbing that words could no longer be audibly heard. But the grace of God super abounds. And as I journey in this life, walking, stumbling, running, leaping, dancing, falling, hurting my leg and to the point of breaking my bone and my totality in search for that one thing that would make me truly happy - my heart, the only sober part of me that is left, spoke, 

The Holy Spirit continually touches me and speaks to me, telling me to let you feel that my journey in search for your happiness is in vain because you will not find it anywhere. It is our Almighty God. The very source of your happiness. The very reason you smile amidst the pricking hurdles of life. 

Indeed. To this day and to eternity, I will say, my utmost happiness is in trusting and obeying our Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Let us utilize what God had given us to equip us, being His soldiers, before we step in the battle arena. And, I can say, He will never fail us, he promised it, let's claim it. Why let go of the sweet fellowship we enjoy in our Father's banquet?

- Zaideh on Revival -